Wax play, or temperature play, is the erotic and sensual act of using candle wax to entice pleasure through pain and heat. 35% of sadomasochists take part in wax play, according to studies performed by the archives of sexual behavior, Dr. Pekka Santtila. As with any form of play, temperature play especially, you want to be educated, safe, and prepared.
When performing wax play, you want to be aware of the sensitivity level of your partner, and yourself. It is always best to perform any kind of BDSM with a trusted partner, be it a lover or a fuck buddy. Also, safety is always your #1 priority.
Safety
Basic safety tips for wax play are simple. For starters, know the boundaries of your partner and yourself. Always have communication between one another to make sure the experience stays enjoyable and safe.
Know the temperature of the wax you are using and make sure to note the ingredients of the candles used. Safety candles can be purchased, the plain white scentless candles are best used for kinky situations. Avoid any candles that house metal in their wicks, as the metal will melt and burn or even blister the skin.
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Something that is not stressed enough is to make sure that the wax is dripped from a high enough distance to allow cooling on contact and less of risk to burn or irritate the sub. The further away the better. Know safe areas on your partner that they can handle the heat.
Which Wax
Not every candle is the same, and some burn hotter than others. For example, a scented candle burns between 120 F and 135 F. Whereas a soy candle will burn at 135-145 degrees. We suggest using soy candles as they cool quicker on contact and are less likely to cause irritation. If you are looking for extreme heat, Beeswax candles are long lasting, they will usually burn between 145 degrees to 170 degrees.
As stated before, safety first. Know the temperature of the wax before using it, and also note that you should be aware of the ingredients that are used in candles to avoid allergens and irritation. When testing the wax, always test it on yourself before you test it on your partner. That way as a dom, you know what sensations your sub is experiencing. When using wax during foreplay, make sure you drip it from a high level. The further away from skin, the better. It allows the wax to cool to a safer temperature.
Not all candles are created equal. It is vital to know which candle is used. If you must know the truth, experts suggest that you only use safety candles. They can be purchased from pharmacies and even hardware stores. Visiting a reputable sex shop may yield the discovery of body candles designed for wax play.
The reason why paraffin candles are often frowned upon is the chemicals they use. For ambiance, it’s ideal. For wax play, not so much. The chemicals tend to make the candle burn hotter which would break the golden rule of safety. Beeswax being the more extreme candles, being labeled as industrial, shouldn’t really be used for wax play. Though some will still do it at their own discretion, I do not suggest anything other than safety candles. They may seem dull and boring, but with wax play they are erotic and exciting.
One reason why the safety candles are great to use is that they are soft. The softer the candle, the lower the melting point. Sometimes you will find yourself able to melt the wax by rubbing it in between your fingers. This makes them perfect for wax foreplay.
Interesting fact, wax play isn’t always using candles. Some wax may be melted on a heating source and then applied to self or partner.
The Prep
Best way to prepare for wax play is plastic sheets or damp clothes to avoid making a mess or ruining any sheets. As stated above, always test it on yourself before applying it to your partner. The hands or wrists are the best places to test. If you are comfortable with the sensation, then it’s time to drip a little on your partner to let them experience the sensation. Also, if you rub lotion or oil on your partner prior, it makes removal easier while helping set that erotic mood.
Aftercare is also important. Properly applying a cold cream or après lotion will help with any burning or irritation caused by the heat of the wax. Cleaning it out of hair and off skin could prove to be irritating if you didn’t use oil or lotion. Sometimes needing a comb and a plastic card to scrape the wax off.
The Fun Stuff
Some who participate in wax play try to make patterns and shapes with the wax as they drip it down onto their partner. Remember to always avoid cuts and genitals (if you are using hotter waxes) with the wax, as it makes cause unwanted pain, injury, or trap bacteria into open cuts. One way to add to the erotica of wax play is to use your nails to lightly scrape off the wax when it cools, or maybe even use ice cube to run over the heated areas for added sensation.
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The breasts are a great place to drip, as with enough wax you can make a mold of the nipple and breast. The inner thigh is also a great place to experience that sensitive sensation while not burning the skin as badly. Avoid getting any wax in, around, or on your eyes, mouth, or nose.
Wax play is normally foreplay, but applying wax during intercourse (on appropriate spots of course) can add to the pleasure and help maintain the Dom/Sub relationship. It can’t be stressed enough to always be safe and aware of your partners feelings. Nothing is more important than the safety of yourself or your partner, so have open communication.